The Five Best Things My Breakup Taught Me

I don't need to tell you that going through a break up isn't easy, nor is it all that fun. I explained in an earlier post that in my five years of holding steady, serious relationships, I was always the one to end them when I saw that train pulling into the metaphorical station. My most recent break-up was quite shocking, unexpected, and in some ways, close to emotionally paralyzing for me. I had planned a future with this individual, wore a diamond ring on my finger, and dreamed of the children we would hopefully someday have.

  1. Once I stopped wallowing in my self-pity and forced myself to replace my negative thoughts with optimistic, uplifting ones, I was able to realize what a blessing in disguise this had been.I am worth more than what many of the partners I've chosen in the past could provide me. I am aware of the many cons to being old-souled and ready to settle down (I'm using the word "ready" more casually than it reads)--among them all is the biggest: many individuals (especially males) my age are not "ready" to settle down.
  2. It is okay to experience life. Before my previous partner, I wasn't much of the adventurous type, nor the most typical college kid. I really hadn't had a decent drink, "hooked up" with someone without the goal of dating them, or even really had time to nurture my social relationships in the past year. Being single is in many ways like being reborn.
  3. It is good to be single. Have some fun, flirt, and still come home to yourself at the end of the day. I'll always have my best girlfriends, and perhaps they're the only boyfriends I need. As a serial monogamist, I'm training myself to feel complete without "my person".
  4. I need to focus on me. After my breakup, I started a Pilates regimen and began to rule out all dairy products from my diet/eat healthier. I feel worlds better, and all I needed was a little push. I have met some of the best people on who understand the struggle and know it is real!
  5. I may not like it, but I am able to sit with the unknown. Who knows when I will find the one, and I'm still young. As much as I hate situations without a definitive answer or path, I will be okay. While I still have my youth, I need to learn how to experience life full-throttle without resistance.

At my age, I truly know that I am bound to experience at least one or two more breakups in my life before I settle down with the right person, and now I am able to slowly but surely accept that truth.