I'm Not Ready to Say Goodbye (to College)

College is quickly coming to an end and I'm so not ready. I know all this talk about "senioritis" is real, but the part I'm not willing to let go of quite yet is the people. The amazing, brave, beautiful people I've met along the way. I'm not ready to say goodbye. We all changed. We all helped lead each other to the path that was inevitably our individual destinies, sometimes found together and sometimes apart--more often apart, if we're being honest.

We all met during a point in our four year journey when we needed each other the most. We were all sent to each other for a reason - a solid purpose. Whether romantic and intimate, friendly and mentoring, I cannot shake this feeling that I am losing somethinghuge by leaving.

I've started my own business. I've moved in with someone special. I've severed ties with old loves. I've bid farewell to poor friendships. I've said constant hellos and goodbyes ever since I was 14 years old and just beginning to navigate a more serious life. I'm doing things on my own now, but, there's still that pit in my stomach.

I know I have to. I know I have to continue, taking the lessons I've learned and turning them into positives, being grateful for the education and real-life experiences I've gained going forward. I wrote before about the six most important lessons that college taught me, and I'm always thinking back on these. As well as the life lessons I gained from the field of social psychology and Dr. Elliot Aronson.

I learned a lot about myself in college--I learned that I needed to be more open minded on certain issues, more close minded on others, fight for what I believe is justice and fair equality and by far most importantly: do what I'm passionate about. I didn't truly allow myself to feel passionate about what I loved doing until junior year in college and I am so beyond thankful I found it out and was able to quickly redirect my path.

Perhaps The Evergreen State College wasn't the perfect fit for the career path I later discovered, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I grew my understanding on a variety of subjects, studied ones I wasn't too thrilled about but wanted to know more about and got an interdisciplinary education that isn't comparable.

Can I just have one more moment to grasp these memories!? Oh, man. Here come the water works...

Today I'm not myself, and you, you're someone else. And all these rules don't fit, and all that starts can quit. What a peculiar state we're in. Let's play a game, where all of the lives we lead can change. Let's play a game, where nothing that we can see, the same. We'll find other pieces to the puzzles slipping out under the locks... I can show you how many moves to checkmate right now. We can take apart this life we're building, and pack it up inside a box. All that really matters is we're doing it right now. - OneRepublic, "Au Revoir"

How was your experience leaving school? What were the most impactful lessons you took with you?