Are you struggling to find your partner's soft spot--their preferences for how to receive love? Love languages can help us understand our differences, in addition to what we can do for each other on a daily basis to strengthen our relationships.
With the following easy everyday solutions, you can cultivate a positive experience for your partner (and you!) with their love language in mind. Keep in mind: you and your partner may have a mix of multiple love languages - you aren't necessarily tied to one strict method!
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
People who prefer to receive and give love using words of affirmation choose to verbally tell their partner how wonderful they are as opposed to performing acts of service or showering them with gifts. Here's 5 caring things you can do for the person who loves words of affirmation:
- Tell them how much you appreciate all they do for your relationship and your career, home, whatever it may be, and list specifics!
- Call them handsome, beautiful, sexy.
- Leave little love notes around the home.
- Create a photo album of your memories and label the back of every photo with a kind message of a memory, inside joke or thing that you absolutely adore about them!
- Reassure them that everything will work itself out when they're having a bad day - appreciate them and be their strongest cheerleader.
People who prefer to receive and give love using quality time often choose to arrange meaningful date nights (or simply some time cuddling every night) and at times may want to spend every waking minute with their sweetie! Here's 5 caring things you can do for the person who loves quality time:
- Shut off the TV or computer and TALK!
- Set aside some time to simply gaze into each others eyes and familiarize yourself with the other person.
- Ask them how their day was and look into their eyes as they share their wins and hardships with you - this shows that you do care.
- Plan a romantic date somewhere you've never been before.
- Buy a stack of cards or fill-in-the-blank books that prompt you with deep life questions and demand your answers - getting to know each other was never more fun than this!
People who prefer to receive and give love using gifts often choose to spend lots of time creating (or buying) thoughtful items that they know their babe will love! Here's 5 caring things you can do for the person who loves receiving gifts:
- Give them a gift. Duh! :)
- Spend your time creating a one-of-a-kind DIY project that they will cherish.
- Truly listen to them when they request a gift or say that they "wish they had" ____, then gift this to them when they least expect it. Meaningless gifts are pointless - you might as well save up your money to get them that one thing they really, really want.
- Don't simply give them gifts on their birthday or Christmas - tiny gifts, such as takeout food, a cup of their favorite Starbucks or simply a homemade coupon for a backrub are bound to please them anyday!
- Build them a random gift basket of their favorite everyday essentials - their favorite alcohol, snack, etc.
ACTS OF SERVICE
People who prefer to receive and give love using acts of service often choose to clean the home or complete other normal tasks that help out their S/O. Here's 5 caring things you can do for the person who loves physical touch:
- Clean your whole entire home top to bottom and dedicate a special extra dusting to their favorite spaces! ;)
- Cook them dinner one night a week so they can relax and indulge.
- Offer to do the grocery shopping or errand running for them so they can stay at home (especially on a rainy day).
- If you have kids, volunteer to take them to their next meet or school when your sweetie typically does - give 'em a break for the day!
- Attend an event that your partner has been talking about + that you know means something special to them, whether that's church, a lecture or seminar, or simply a movie that wouldn't be your first choice.
People who prefer to receive and give love using physical touch often choose to spend lots of time being physically intimate or tender with their lover. Here's 5 caring things you can do for the person who loves physical touch:
- Wrap your arms around them when they are doing everyday tasks - washing the dishes, doing the laundry, perhaps playing their video games or even working! This varies with every individual's preference of interruption, but is generally successful for those who appreciate lots of physical touch.
- Rub their back while they're lying next to you in bed. Trust me - super soothing!
- Give them kisses out of the blue and surprise them with a longer one!
- Ask them if they need a foot rub after a rough day.
- Plan an in-home massage day! Grab the best oils and lotions and create a romantic setting where you can pamper them all day long. Perfect for the weekend when you're reconnecting after a long 5 days at work!
I'm most certainly a mix of words of affirmation, quality time and physical touch. If you're not reaffirming that you care for me, cuddling me and engaging when we spend quality time together, I'm likely going to feel as though I do not matter.
My boyfriend, on the other hand, is very much an acts of service guy. I'm not sure if this is accurate, but in my experiences, men seem to have a tendency to feel drawn to the more superficial ways of showing love - acts of service and receiving gifts, for example. This is likely due to the fact that we don't advocate for men feeling deep emotions in our society. That's not their fault! This means we have to work a bit harder to meet each other in the middle and work at expressing our love in the methods that resonate best for each other.
Once you determine your sweetheart's love language and your own, you will be better able to assess your situation and whether or not you are truly living (and loving) to the greatest potential within your relationship!
What is your love language? What are some things you would appreciate, or things you've observed that seem to work well for certain love languages? I'd love to read your comments below!
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BLOGGER: KATHRYN COFFMAN
Kathryn is the lead contributor + founder at FashionablyFrank.com. Obsessed with leading a life of balance, she started the blog in 2013. Since graduating from The Evergreen State College (Washington) in 2016, she is now a digital marketing specialist through her business, Fashionably Frank Marketing. She believes a cup of coffee is the answer to all of life's problems + that all women should strive to embrace a #girlboss mantra.