Pet peeves: we all have 'em! I consider myself a pretty realistic individual in terms of the things that get me upset, but I'm not gonna lie: I have A LOT of pet peeves.
While some of these pet peeves that get under my skin are quite important and serious, a lot are petty and aren't meant to be taken all that seriously. Even if we disagree, I hope you can relate (or at least have a chuckle!).
1. Tumblr-trendy language
Can you stop spelling and saying things like, "Mmk hunty looool."? Srsly.
It's not a good look.
This might be a bigger deal than I'm even willing to admit. I HATE dishonest people. It's more than a pet peeve, it might be a slightly unhealthy anger. I can't trust you if you don't make me feel secure and led by truthfulness.
3. Family that doesn't act like "family" should
I learned by age 13 that I had to define my own family and since then found my refuge and family in my activism communities and closest older mentors. Family, or loving and supporting relationships in general are an aspect of life that I cherish the most. I will strive to make the definition of family easier and more natural for my someday kids.
4. Dark lipstick after eating
I know, I put myself through this pain - I select a dark shade of lipstick and eat a burger or other large item and my mouth looks like an episode of "48 Hours". I wish there were a (less expensive) way to enjoy a darker tone without the disgusting consequence!
Not gonna lie, ColourPop is quite solid at this.
5. People who expect your support, don't support you
I'll like your new Facebook page / spread the word about your business / follow your blog as soon as you support mine. I can't explain how many times my Facebook friends have shared their professional pages with me months and months after I've invited them to like mine and they've ignored. Or, I've attended an event to support their new endeavor and they barely know what I do for a living.
I'll support you when you support me, girl! That's what true friends are for.
6. The Oxford comma
Oh boy. The PR standards that one of my mentors drilled into my mind always make me shudder at the Oxford comma in general, but especially if I see it used in a press release where it shouldn't be.
7. Big brown spiders
What's the purpose? I mean... I'd personally rather not have them crawling in my bedroom's nooks and crannies!
8. My Instagram feed
It just kills me. The filter game is never good enough. #FirstWorldProblems
9. Hatred to defeat hatred
The incredible amount of hatred I witness from people who are fighting for the greater equal rights movement is intense and just not my thing at all! I'm all about the love, friends. Remember: "Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." -Martin Luther King, Jr.
10. Privileged people who don't support minorities
It makes me cringe to see a person with ultimate privilege (whether this is based in their race, gender or sexuality) not understand the greater civil rights movement or at least support it/vote for it. Get with the program already!
I may respect you as a person, maybe even a kind and friendly person, but we can't be close if you actively support political candidates whose priorities do not include granting my basic dignity and human rights in my own country. You wouldn't be friends with someone who took your guns away, right? You know, like Hillary.
11. Mental health stigmatization
I really dislike the stigma surrounding mental health in this country. Having lost a few people to suicide throughout my life and having suffered from severe anxiety disorders myself, I know that therapy and psychology are key to our well-being. This needs to become commonplace - no matter your gender or societal expectations. Everyone who needs mental health assistance needs to get it and not be shamed for doing so.
12. People who don't drive the speed limit (incredibly slow drivers)
Especially when there is no weather condition or other incident causing them to slow down! Just pull over if you don't know where you're going.
13. People who "don't like country music"
This includes my sweet boyfriend. WHY IS THIS OKAY!? Jesus take the wheel!
Note that I'm a hypocrite because someone could easily say this about me and sci-fi or comics. I just visited a comic shop the other day and said I "wasn't a comic person". (I hate myself).
14. People who butt into others' conversations
I don't mean to be Miss Exclusion, but some conversations just aren't open for third party input. I'd totally love to chat with you, but not in my personal conversations with others. I can't tell you how many times I'd like to butt into a conversation that pertains to my skills, but I bite my tongue because I try to be a well-mannered person.
15. People who like their own posts on Facebook
You shared it; we get it, you like it :)
16. Uptight close-minded folk
People who are so sure of everything that they refuse to open their minds to anything greater than themselves (like God or another higher entity), are hard to get a laugh out of or are super dismissive of anything that is out of what they have come to know in this present moment. It's not "realistic" to be so close-minded, and trust me: I had my days with this mindset growing up!
17. Hearing someone call my biological parents my "real parents"
Please don't. Us adopted people know our real parents - in most cases they are our adoptive parents! Our biological parents are another story. This occurred more times than I could count throughout my childhood and still does occasionally.
18. People who ask me for "marketing tips" in exchange for a cup of coffee
Or sometimes NO COFFEE AT ALL, they just jump right into the question over Facebook Messenger! Heck no - you can either hire me, or read this blog post. This is a common problem for people working in the creative realm - artists, graphic designers, marketing professionals, bloggers, photographers and we're all so, so over it.
19. Lack of body positivity
As much as it bugs me to hear my friends truly consider how fat they are as if this is a negative thing, it bugs me more that we perpetuate thinness as the only form of beauty in our culture. I'm guilty of it; we are all conditioned through our society to not value fat bodies and to hate ourselves if we have fat on our bodies, but I try hard each and every day to refute this in my belief system.
Yes, being healthy is important, but I know plenty of grossly unhealthy skinny people! Equally important is the idea that you wouldn't hate yourself if you had cancer - even if you are to an extent unhealthy, this does not warrant self-hatred and shaming.
"I only know how to exist when I am wanted." As a separate but interconnected issue, this is what we are teaching our young girls by sexualizing the feminine body and it has to stop. Just give Mary Lambert's "Body Love Part 1 & 2" beautiful melodic spoken word poetry a listen. You won't regret it!
20. Lack of planning
I like having a calendar that is perfectly planned and I can't stand it when I have to request a schedule from people multiple times in order to plan something. It works with my lifestyle - I'm not the type of person who can just jump up and go anywhere at any time, although I will admit that has become slightly easier ever since opening a business. If you can't stick to plans (or make them), we probably aren't close.
As you can tell, a lot of my peeves are people. What are your biggest pet peeves? Share in the comments!
P.S. I love you for sticking around and taking this like a champ. I don't mean to offend if you do any of these things, but this will hopefully help you know me a bit better. Life is short! At the end of the day, it's important for us to vent out our pet peeves, then focus on the amazing blessings we do have. I am so grateful for each and every one of my readers.
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BLOGGER: KATHRYN COFFMAN
Kathryn is the lead contributor + founder at FashionablyFrank.com. Obsessed with leading a life of balance, she started the blog in 2013. Since graduating from The Evergreen State College (Washington) in 2016, she is now a digital marketing specialist through her business, Fashionably Frank Marketing. She believes a cup of coffee is the answer to all of life's problems + that all women should strive to embrace a #girlboss mantra.