6 Things to Remember When People Judge You
The feeling of being judged absolutely SUCKS and I hate it more than most things in life - including slow drivers and people who yell at their dogs (seriously, my neighbor hasn't been able to stop cursing at her dog at 3 in the morning and it's driving people absolutely bonkers!). There's a few things to remember when people judge you, including these 6 points I'm sharing that have worked for me.
IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU, REALLY
When we're judged, it can be incredibly hard to not take it personally. Taking it personally doesn't make the situation any healthier for you and it only spurs on the judger to judge you more.
Removing yourself from the situation and looking at the bigger picture of why this person might be judging people in general (and whether or not you know of them judging others, too) is helpful. Maybe there's a trait about you that they don't like, but it's not you as a whole.
THEY DON'T KNOW YOU
Most of the time, when we judge someone, it's because we don't know them very well, or at all. My most recent experience of being judged has happened in the workplace and it certainly doesn't hold any weight, since the judgements are the furthest thing from true!
This individual isn't immersed in your life, they aren't your best friend (and if they are, it's time to kick 'em to the curb!) and they don't deserve a second of your frustration. Just repeat: they don't know me and they don't care to, so who needs them?
THEY ARE WALKING A STRUGGLED PATH
In order for someone to judge another person (clarification: a judgement that isn't based in truth, but more so speculation and ill intent), they have to be dealing with something that makes them insecure in themselves. You may be screaming internally: "Just get to know me! Why don't they want to know me!?" But that won't do any good, because they don't care.
Believe me - I'm the first to admit: I'm a super judgmental person; it's just a trait that makes me ME! Sometimes my judgements are merely observations rooted in fact, but my insecurities also trigger me to judge others at times. Whether I'm jealous, intimidated or threatened by them, the reason varies, but there is certainly a struggle behind the statement.
Knowing this about the person who is judging us is a helpful tidbit - we can choose to exercise compassion for this person's insecurities, or shut this person out of our space for our own mental health. Neither is wrong; you must do what is going to be healthiest for you.
I mean it, girl! There's no one else quite like you in this universe. You're obviously not going to be everyone's cup of tea, but you've got something going for ya. You have an incredibly unique combination of talents and traits that not everyone is blessed with. We all have our own gifts. Exercising gratitude for the genuine nature you find within yourself is a fabulous, positive train of thought.
THIS TOO SHALL PASS
Letting a single person get under your skin for too long can be harmful, but it's certainly easier said than done, and I understand that completely. Just try your best to keep in mind: "This too shall pass."
Nothing can last forever, and there's a great chance that you won't need to socialize with this person for the rest of your life - this is a moment in time that you can rise above!
Anyone who gets sick, twisted pleasure out of judging others (I'm talking about the serial judgers, now) and attempting to tell people who they are through their judgements has some serious problems!
This isn't the most productive way of dealing with judgements from others, but it sure helps me. Just remind yourself that this person is totally insane. I mean it. Like Britney circa 2007 INSANE. You can live without that mess, sweetheart.
Bottom line: they got problems! Withdrawing in the best fashion you feel is possible is the best response in this situation. If you can't withdraw from them, setting boundaries in order to distance your heated emotions from them is wise.
What have you done in similar situations? Leave your comments below!
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BLOGGER: KATHRYN COFFMAN
Kathryn is the lead contributor + founder at FashionablyFrank.com. Obsessed with leading a life of balance, she started the blog in 2013. Since graduating from The Evergreen State College (Washington) in 2016, she is now a digital marketing specialist through her business, Fashionably Frank Marketing. She believes a cup of coffee is the answer to all of life's problems + that all women should strive to embrace a #girlboss mantra.