What to Do When You're Not Welcome (Just Eat Doughnuts)
Hi there! Are you feeling lost or left out? I have, too. I hope this list of what to do when you're not welcome helps you the same way it helps me. All my life, I've felt as though I wasn't welcome in one way or another. I was bullied, ridiculed and criticized. I've always wondered what to do when I'm not welcome, pondering how I can make my situation more manageable. While all my intense bullying faded by age 15, I still experience the occasional verbal beat-down (or unspoken attack) and to this day feel unwelcome in certain environments.
It's very important that we not only acknowledge people's discomfort and uncertainty in situations, but that we really allow them to grow out of this fear and somehow attempt to mold in and become accepted.
While this is more of a joking, therapeutic post for myself, if you're a person who feels like you just can't belong somewhere (wherever that may be), do read on:
1. Remind yourself of your wonderfulness. You're a good person--regardless if this person or group decides to see you as such. Your intentions are pure and you do good. You do good.
2. Get dolled up. To put you in better spirits, try on that cute new outfit you bought the other day paired with a red hot lip and some perfume!
3. Surround yourself with those who get it. The best way to cure yourself of feeling secluded and outcast is to hangout with those who do get you and who understand your frustrations. If you find this online, it's good enough. In fact, it's more than good enough. There was a time in my life when all my closest friends were in different countries.
4. Turn up the tunes. My favorite songs right now have to be: "Roses" by The Chainsmokers and ROZES, "Cake By The Ocean by DNCE", "Middle" by DJ Snake and Bipolar Sunshine and "Don't Let Me Down" by The Chainsmokers and Daya. Put on a tune that makes you feel good and shake it out!
5. Laugh... a lot. When I consider what makes me the happiest in the shortest amount of time, it's gotta be comedy. Check out this video of Jay Pharoah impersonating famous African-American comedians (it's actually pretty great). A few comedy recommendations: George Carlin, Kathy Griffin, Kevin Hart, Chelsea Handler.
6. Then smile a lot. The second best video cure is adorable animals--cats, dogs, cows, anything really. Here's my favorite video of a miniature dachshund getting a bit wet, a video of a cow cuddling a human and of course, here's a little boy crying over a puppy ('cause, wouldn't we all?).
Oh, and look at this picture of a happy little lamb.
7. Scan Pinterest for some inspiration. Not only can you find a million and one interior decorating, DIY craft and outfit ideas, you will discover the best of the best motivational and inspirational quotes--ones that might be able to manifest your strength through this time of misunderstanding. Here's my board of favorites to get you started.
8. Netflix 'n Chill (solo). Binge watch some of the latest and greatest shows to put yourself in a better mood--"Orange is the New Black", "Chelsea Does...", or thoughtful documentaries--"MissRepresentation," "The Mask You Live In", "Happy", "I Am (The Movie)", etc. The possibilities are endless!
9. Express yourself. When I went through tumultuous bullying in my early years, I found that having an outlet where I could express myself was key. I turned to creative video montaging (I loved figure skating and this was very easy to mix to music) and cultivated a large fan following through the years 2007-2010, including the support of the official Stars on Ice YouTube channel (Stars on Ice is the largest international figure skating tour).
Find what you love, how you best feel you can express yourself through art and let yourself shine!
10. Just eat doughnuts. When all else fails, crack open a box of those jelly-filled, glazed circular pockets of goodness and eat your heart (er... stomach) out!
Tell me: what do you do when you just can't seem to fit in?