Why You're Never Wrong for Chasing After Happiness
So, you’re unhappy. You’re grasping at straws for a better life - a better future to promise yourself, filled with happiness. You deserve a bursting amount of happiness, girl (and you shouldn't need an excuse or a reason to be happy)! Today, I'm writing about why you're never wrong for chasing after happiness.
A LOT OF UNHAPPINESS STEMS FROM THE BEHAVIOR OF OTHERS.
Let's face it: a lot of individuals on this planet get sick, twisted pleasure from seeing people unhappy, or from bringing others down intentionally. That way of life has never resonated with me personally. I'm a big believer in the idea that you need to have a valid reason to dislike someone, and even then, you should never wish misfortune on someone just because they're not your cup of tea.
I'll be the first person to tell you if somebody pissed me off, rubbed me the wrong way or flat out abused me (and believe me: you'll hear it!), but I would never wish them unhappiness and negativity. We all deserve joy in life.
1. YOU AREN'T ANYBODY ELSE + THAT'S BEAUTIFUL!
Not everything that brings you happiness is going to bring happiness to others. Just like a snowflake, you are unique in every possible way. Did you know that no two snowflakes are alike, due to a crazy 10 quintillion water molecules that make up your average snowflake? Their molecules grow at different paces and into different patterns based on the atmosphere they're in.
Being different from everyone else should give you enough to smile about in the first place, but if you're feeling down, just remind yourself of this fact and remember that it is such a blessing to be YOU in all of your individuality! There's a purpose you are here on this earth and a reason to be joyful.
2. OTHERS DON'T GET TO DEFINE YOU
The next time someone attempts to define your personality in a negative light, simply nod your head and remember: they're nowhere near perfect either!
Who do they think they are?
It's fine to disagree with someone's opinion or a behavior they use, but I don't mess with people who enjoy overgeneralizing and putting labels on others because of these beliefs and behaviors. You don't need to tell people how to conduct themselves in everyday life - you do you, boo!
You are a beautiful person and your uniqueness radiates from the inside out! Others' judgments and definitions shouldn't become your be-all, end-all.
You know you better than anyone else.
3. YOU'RE STILL YOUNG + FIGURING THIS STUFF OUT
No matter your age, if you're 65 or 15, you're still "young" in whatever stage of life you find yourself in and still have a bunch of lessons to be learned on the horizon, and so do other people!
Letting yourself sit in the uncertainty and allowing the anxiety to pass is key to staying joyful even when things get tough. As a person who has suffered with severe anxiety disorders since near-birth, I know how difficult sitting with your anxious feelings can be.
Anxiety and stress are two of the most hindering things for me in terms of feeling and finding true happiness. Training myself to allow these feelings to pass and recognizing that they are always going to be a part of my everyday life experiences gives me the opportunity to redirect my focus to positive emotions like joy and the enthusiasm I do have for living to the fullest of my potential.
4. YOU MUST LOVE YOURSELF OR NOBODY WILL
No, it's not "cocky" or "arrogant" to love yourself and truly take care of yourself and your needs, both physically and emotionally.
I truly think one of the biggest reasons people end up misunderstanding or disliking me is my ability to recognize the awesome things about myself, and my unwillingness to apologize for it. I will never understand this, as it fills me with such happiness to see others celebrating themselves.
Taking from #1, because we're all unique, the things we will accomplish in life are going to differ. What may be considered "accomplished" to one person may be "underachieving" to another. We should be allowed the safe space to celebrate ourselves without the consequence of judgment.
Also, it is often argued that: "You must love yourself before you love anyone else." If this is true, then I would assume it may be quite unattractive to be in a relationship with someone (either romantic or friendly) who doesn't love themselves. I spent many years trying to "fix" my partners - trying to make them see the good in themselves until I realized that it's a lost cause. YOU must see the good in yourself and nobody else can show you the path to true self-love.
If you don't love yourself, who will? #Kanye2020 ;)
At the end of the day, I know people will still dislike me and YOU for various reasons, regardless if those reasons are justified or valid. In many instances, they don't even know us, with our colorful stories and our varied experiences! And in many instances, people may hate because you're happy. There's nothing wrong with feeling happiness and chasing after more joy. Go for it, girl!
What brings you the greatest happiness?
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BLOGGER: KATHRYN COFFMAN
Kathryn is the lead contributor + founder at FashionablyFrank.com. Obsessed with leading a life of balance, she started the blog in 2013. Since graduating from The Evergreen State College (Washington) in 2016, she is now a digital marketing specialist through her business, Fashionably Frank Marketing. She believes a cup of coffee is the answer to all of life's problems + that all women should strive to embrace a #girlboss mantra.